After a wonderful lunch with my newly discovered grandfather-in-law, it was getting time to prepare our departure. It was a couple hours to Qui Nhơn, and I was expecting to sip cocktails on the beach by nightfall. So everyone started to gather their things and load up the car.
We had come into Kông Chro with my in laws, brother and sister-in-law, Aunt, nephew and our little one Xú. So, to say the least I was a bit surprised when everyone except for Diễm, myself and our Aunt loaded in the car and it drove off. I’m sorry, did I miss something here? We’re supposed to be in that car.
It was explained to me that Aunty wanted to stay in Kông Chro for the night to catch up with her brothers and somehow that equates to me changing my plans. I wasn’t exactly thrilled, but I wasn’t going to make a scene either. And so an evening in Kông Chro it would be.
I checked Airbnb and the closest room was in fact were I was supposed to be headed, Qui Nhơn, some 2 and a half hours away. Of course there was an Inn of sorts in Kông Chro and I was informed that our uncle would be taking us there now. So we loaded into his Kia and headed a few streets up.
The Inn was basic and old. It did have air conditioning, which was nice, as even in the highlands the heat was mounting. It was simply a long walkway with rooms on each side. The rooms had padlocks on the doors, the way you secured your room when you were out. The key for the padlock was in a slot in the room next to the door. It had to be inserted in the slot to activate the electricity.
The door was metal with glass inserts that were frosted, similar to a screen door you would see in the states only more substantial and heavy. There was a simple raised platform bed that at least had a thin mattress on it. A small table in the corner with two steel round stools and that was It.
The bathroom I was expecting to be just as it was, open to the main room as the ceiling was at least 12 feet high and the walls that contained the bathroom were about 6 feet in height. Rudimentary wall hung sink, dingy old mirror, a toilet that sat 6 inches of the ground and was only the bowl. No tank and no flushing handle. A pipe was hardwired into the toilet and you simply opened the valve to flush the toilet. It was actually quite effective.
As we entered the room and settled in there was a not exactly pleasant odor. Diễm began spraying perfume and I just turned on the air conditioner. There didn’t seem to be anyone else on the property but the proprietor so I assumed the odor was simply from stagnant air. Who knows how long it has been since this room had seen an occupant. After a few minutes the room was tolerable, but apparently our presence wasn’t.
There was a bit of commotion coming from outside as the proprietor and our aunt and uncle were not exactly agreeing on things. Unable to make out the conversation, I asked my aunt what was the problem. The proprietor has never had an American stay there before and he seemed a little stressed. We were pretty far out mind you, and he wanted to discuss it with the local authorities before he let us stay. My aunt was born in Vietnam but was now a US citizen, but she had neglected to bring her passport.
Things are very different here and you must always relinquish your passport at any inn or hotel. Without one to relinquish we were out. Diễm and I could stay, but she could not. And so about 30 minutes after it left, the car returned to pick us up. There was more talk, I stood with belongings in hand waiting for the nod to load into the car. After more conversation and discussion the car again pulled away without us in it.
Apparently the inn keeper was satisfied with the local authorities decision to let us stay and my uncles vouching for us during our stay. So back into the room we went. As I walked in I grabbed the padlock and took it in with me and hung it on the key holder by the door. I wasn’t about to get locked into my own room.
After we settled in and I took some time to gather my thoughts we headed out to walk back to grandfathers. They were preparing another meal for dinner, though not nearly as elaborate as there would only be an intimate gathering for this meal. We ate and drank and had another fun meal together before headed out to what we had really stayed for.
I have spoken before about how important a past time Karaoke is here in Vietnam. I’ve never come here and not done it. It’s everywhere, in the forests, the cities, deep in the jungle. You may not can find a modern hotel or apartment, but you will find a state of the art Karaoke club. Even here in the small town of Kông Chro there are no less than three palaces to Karaoke. Set beside each other and surrounded by jungle, it was a very strange sight when we pulled up.
It’s just a very strange contrast to see. Almost pitch dark jungle, the moon hanging high in the sky, jungle sounds rolling out of the dense foliage and then a massive, modern, LED lit palace to fun and entertainment. Even writing the tale now I conjure images of a French explorer, on his last drop of water, hacking his way through almost impenetrable jungle. Then out of nowhere, like magic is Nhất Thành’s palace of Karaoke. A doomed explorer saved by warm beer and bad singing. A truly epic summer blockbuster.
We procured our room and stepped into 2 hours of fame, no fortune. The room was very futuristic and filled with LED lights and signs that morphed into dragons and lotus flowers. Tim, a good friend of mine back in the states, likened it to the Gravitron back home. I’d say that’s a pretty good reference. It was dark yet bright, load as hell and the beer was a flowing.
It’s customary in Vietnam as the guest to toast and have a sting with your hosts. Inside a Karaoke room it becomes worse. Even though a glass is about 10 ounces there, and it also contains a rather large chunk of ice, chugging a 6 oz glass back to back with 6 people in rotation can go south really quickly. After the first round I had had about three beers in a 5 minute period and they were lining up for round two.
I explained to Diễm how dangerously unfair this was. Essentially for every 12 ounces of beer they each had I had 72. I eventually had to begin to hide the glassware as I didn’t think it to be to polite to pull the old dump it over my shoulder routine. I didn’t want to be rude and I was having fun, but I also wasn’t getting piss drunk in a small town in the middle of the jungle in a foreign land. It was not going to happen and after they came on to my glassware hiding truck I just had to politely say no, and Karaoke played on.
Everyone took their turn and I even got in a few. I did my best “don’t stop believing” by Journey, “Angel Eyes” by the Jeff Healy Band and “Hungry Like The Wolf” by Duran Duran. I chose a few older songs because I thought, and I was correct, that they would know them. I almost fell over with laughter, when as I was belting out hungry like the wolf, the men in the group started howling. It was a fun night.
After Karaoke we returned to the inn to find it locked up tight. I rapped on the gate and made a few noises and the guard dogs came running to check things out. I had seen the two dogs chained up just out of reach earlier. Apparently at night everything is locked up, everyone is shut in and the dogs are let lose to guard the property. Uncle made a call to to innkeeper who eventually came wandering out, flashlight in hand, to let us in. As he opened the gate he made a few calls in Vietnamese and the dogs ran to a safe distance and laid down. I had no doubt as obedient as they were another call would tears us to shreds. We cautiously made our way to our room and locked ourselves in.
We woke up relatively early and packed up our things. I had only brought a change of clothes, expecting to have gone back to An Lao by now. So you can imagine that my option may were limited. The guard dogs were chained up tight as we emerged from the room and checked out. We headed to meet up with grandfather again and get some breakfast. After a decent breakfast, probably the least flavorful I’d ever had in Vietnam, we headed out for coffee.
After coffee it was off to uncles house and a little fellowship with grandfather before hoping the bus to Qui Nhơn. At uncles house I took some time exploring a few of his art pieces. The Vietnamese are wonderful wood carvers and his home was decorated with some phenomenal pieces. A large dragon, a laughing Buddha and Confucius on a rather menacing turtle. Some very beautiful imagery indeed.
Among the many things he possessed was a myna bird. Indigenous to Southeast Asia and possessing some rather interesting qualities. One being that they can talk to each other. In a way that is similar to how humans talk to each other. There are many populations of myna birds throughout Asia and pocketed groups have their own languages. A different region can produce as many as 15 uniques calls to a population. So specific in sound and range from each other that scientists refer to them as dialects. The languages are taught from birth so that an adult bird removed from one population and taken to a distant population of even as close as 15 km in distance, have no call similarities and can not communicate. A truly interesting bird.
A light lunch was prepared before our departure and we sat in the back of uncles shop and broke bread with grandfather one last time. Chicken braised in Turmeric, roasted carp with lemongrass and green onion, braised mustard greens and steamy hot rice. We had our fill and then gathered at the front of the shop. Right at noon the bus pulled up and we piled in.
This time we were getting on during its trip so the bus was already full. I had to squeeze in as best I could as there were only 16 seats and we were passengers 19, 20 and 21. It was a tight ride to Qui Nhơn, but one that would prove its worth. For in Qui Nhơn we had a date with beauty and antiquity.
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