October 20 of every year is an exceptional and powerful holiday for women in Vietnam. I made the regrettable mistake of thinking the holiday would be like American Mother’s Day. But it is not. It does not hold more importance or value than Mother’s Day, but a very different kind of celebration for women all over the country.
Woman’s Day in Vietnam is about the sacrifices women have made in the past, their contributions to society then and now, and to maintain a spotlight on the struggles women still face around the world today. I was taken aback by how developed the thought and detailed the message was. Not just, you’re a woman, happy women’s day. It has far more depth than anything I could have imagined. So, being ignorant, as I often am to these things, education was in order. I felt it was necessary to dig in and uncover the deep cultural heart of an extraordinary day in Vietnam. And of course, I have to bring you along with me. So, let us begin this journey into the beautiful and culturally rich Vietnam Women’s Day holiday.
A Little History
My favorite part in developing any article is researching its history. The story of women in Vietnam goes like any other civilization. Further back than any record can dictate. As far as Vietnam is concerned, a great place in time to start is relatively well documented. So let us go now to the earliest days of the common era. To approximately 40 AD and the end of what Vietnamese historians often call the First Chinese domination.
The First Chinese Domination
By 40 AD, the Han dynasty of China had ruled Northern Vietnam for 150 years. This period would bring Buddhism, Confucian construction, Taoism, and Mandarin bureaucracy to Vietnam. This was also when Vietnamese writing developed with the Chinese character system, and the general incorporation of Chinese culture was beginning to dominate. The Loc Viet culture of Vietnam generally had an equal status of men and women, and the Chinese tried to assimilate local culture further during the later periods of domination. In part by establishing the patriarchal power system of the Chinese dynasties.
As they are not now, the Vietnamese were not then conformists or subjects to another. On the contrary, even as the years of domination dragged on in the dawn of the first millennia, the atmosphere was ripening for rebellion. The spark that would ignite that rebellion would come from an unlikely source. Two sisters were born in a small village near modern-day Hanoi to a prefect father of the province, Mê Linh. Given their house, the sisters were taught martial arts and the art of warfare but were not expected to serve a military life.
The Rise of the Trưng Sisters
As the Chinese assimilation programs became increasingly demanding, the commoners of Northern Vietnam were becoming increasingly frustrated with their overlords. The Chinese governors began taxing fishing, salt, and many other activities and staples that put extreme pressure on the locals. The oldest sister, Trưng Trắc, had married the son of another prefect and an equally educated military man named Thi Sách.
In 39 AD, Trưng Trắc and her husband Thi Sách met with the nobles of their Nam Viet peoples of Chinese Dominated Vietnam. They began to formulate a plot to oust their Chinese overlords. To Dinh, the newly appointed Chinese Governor of Nam Viet discovered the plot and executed all-male aristocrat plotters, including the Husband of Trưng Trắc, Thi Sách. He was hung and displayed over the city gate to warn any who would attempt further rebellion.
A Sleeping Dragon
Trưng Trắc’s response was swift and complete. She joined forces with her sister, Trưng Nhị. They taught all of their warrior skills to the local peasantry. By the end of the year, the sisters and their band of unconventional soldiers had taken the garrison in their hometown. The Chinese response was quiet at best and non-existent at worst. The mighty Han Empire felt that the local forts would have no problem overtaking the small rebellion, and no military response was dispatched.
The sisters began to siege other villages and towns, eventually overwhelming fortified cities. All while they were filling their ranks with more and more disenfranchised commoners. Their army eventually became over 80,000 strong. Additionally, in one of the first shows of female battle prowess, the Trưng sisters promoted 60 women to the rank of general. Including their mother and countless others to officer ranks in their growing military.
Trưng Sisters take control and Ultimately Fall.
By the spring of 40 AD, the sisters had all but expelled the Chinese. They had taken control of over 65 cities across Nam Viet, including the provincial capital. Trưng Trắc was declared Queen, and her sister vice-regent. They established a period of peace and self-governance in the Red River Delta region. However, it was not to last as, during their short two-year reign, the Han of China built a massive army to retake their lost conquest.
By the end of 41 AD, the legendary general Ma Yuan began his move into the Viet territories. As Yuan moved further into enemy territory, he constructed roads in his wake. It is a fantastic achievement in any age. Securing supply lines and slowly eroding the Trưng sisters’ influence. The sisters knew that time was their enemy and gathered a massive army to face Yuan on the battlefield as quickly as possible. Unfortunately, they were no match for the gigantic Han invasion, known for their war elephants and cunning strategy. Yuan defeated the sisters and arrived in the Red River valley in 43 AD. Thus ending the rebellion and ushering in the second Chinese domination. It would be the longest of the three Chinese domination periods, lasting roughly 500 years.
What the sisters mean today
The legacy of the Trưng sisters runs very deep in modern-day Vietnam. Their statues and memorials can be found all over the country. Temples and monasteries have even sprouted up over the centuries in their honor. It is even said that their heroism and cunning led to temples even being established in China. It is quite a testament when the country that aims to destroy you later honors you. Considered by many to be the first Vietnamese Nationalists, it is lost on no one that they were women.
They are a very deeply rooted part of Woman’s Day. It is so essential that the sisters have separate holidays to commemorate their fight, sacrifice, and struggle for a free and self-governed Vietnam. Their story is so embedded in Vietnamese culture that the major Temples that house their honor hold three festivals yearly. The first celebration occurs on the 4th through the 7th days of the third lunar month. The second is on the 4th day of the ninth lunar month. And the third and last on the 24th day of the 12 lunar months, a day that would most closely align with the Western Christmas day.
The sister’s social legacy
It can be seen across Vietnam, the strength of the Woman. Women, from my experience, are the backbone of the country. Women do it all here. They toil in the fields, run businesses, serve in the military, ride motorcycles, and are just general badasses. That legacy began long before the Trưng sisters pushed back an empire. But the spirit they represented lives on today.
Lady Triệu
Throughout Vietnam’s history, stories of the heroine, like the Trưng, fill the nation’s lore. History came close to repeating itself with the story of the Trưng sisters in Lady Triệu two centuries later. Also pushing back a massive Chinese dominance, Lady Triệu persists further in the concept of strong, independent women. She helped organize another rebellion and was known to ride a war elephant into battle. The lore of Vietnam gives us powerful words from the lady that are still quoted today.
“Tôi chỉ muốn cưỡi cơn gió mạnh, đạp luồng sóng dữ, chém cá trường kình ở biển Đông, lấy lại giang sơn, dựng nền độc lập, cởi ách nô lệ, chứ không chịu khom lưng làm tì thiếp cho người!”
“I’d like to ride storms, kill sharks in the open sea, drive out the aggressors, reconquer the country, undo the ties of serfdom, and never bend my back to be the concubine of whatever man.”
-Attributed to Triệu Thị Trinh, 3rd Century AD
Modern Tales
Though I may be wrong, I feel that the story of the heroic Vietnamese Woman in modern times is well known. Their image is depicted on signs and statues across Vietnam. The stories of the Women’s heroic acts in battle during the 20th century are legendary. They trudged through the jungles on the front lines against the French and later American campaigns. They were helping to establish and maintain the fabled Ho Chi Minh Trail. A jungle supply line that was one of the most challenging roads to maintain in the world. Weaving up and down dense jungle mountains hundreds of miles from modern civilization.
Women also held significant positions in the earliest Vietnamese government groups, including the precursor to the modern VCP. Modern Vietnam folklore is filled with the stories of Valiant women, mainly mothers, who sacrificed for Vietnam’s freedom. However, the party is often known to conflate these stories for propaganda. Nevertheless, one can’t help but be awed by the stories of women giving birth on the battlefield or fighting with a newborn in a sling on their backs. The power and sacrifice the Woman is capable of are almost worshipped in Vietnam.
Vietnamese Heroic Mother
The known sacrifices of the mother are particularly revered in Vietnam. The nation additionally offers a particular version of its medal of honor exclusively to mothers. The recipient is known forever by the Vietnamese Heroic Mother, and it is awarded in either life or death. A woman must meet specific qualifications to receive the honor, one or more of the following.
- A mother must have two or more children who are martyrs (soldiers who died fighting for the country)
- She can also have two children of which one is a martyr while the other is a wounded veteran who lost 81% of their working ability
- Have an only child who is a martyr
- Or have a child who is a martyr and a husband or the mother themselves are martyr
- Lastly she can have a child who is a martyr and the mothers themselves are wounded veterans who lost 81% of their working ability
The most chilling statistic for me is not in the severity of loss one must bear to receive such an honor but that as of 2001, 44,253 mothers have been bestowed the title.
Mother Nhu Statue
In the busiest roundabout in Da Nang sits a beautiful statue to honor the Vietnamese Heroic Mother Nhu. A legendary figure said to have nurtured and cared for seven soldiers during a long siege. The soldiers and Mother Nhu all eventually died in the conflict. Nhu was captured, tortured, and killed by enemy forces. The legend tells that she died with the information that could have cost many more soldiers’ lives. The square memorializes her ultimate sacrifice and the sacrifice of all those she aimed to protect.
The statue is constructed of 7,000 bullet casings. 1,000 for each of the soldiers in her care. She stands with one hand over her heart, and another outstretched to a nation. Her face is posed in unyielding fortitude and stoicism. Her cape is filled with the images of soldiers she gave her life to protect. It is a mighty statue that I was awed by the first time I saw it as we drove through the roundabout.
What it means to be a Vietnamese Woman
Being married to a Vietnamese woman and seeing how she navigates her world is awe-inspiring. A pillar of strength and a constant willingness to face any problem head-on and without fear, at least not visibly. She is a formidable partner. I am often in awe at her strength in adversity and her grace and beauty in less-than-graceful times, whether it is a simple challenge like balancing two weeks’ worth of groceries on our motorbike or severe challenges like negotiating with our family during a Typhoon or times of disaster.
Diem never shows doubt in her abilities to handle any situation that shows up on the surface. She is always the rock for everyone around her, including myself. She digs her heels in and gets it done. I think that’s a general trait of Vietnamese women. There is nothing impossible. Everything has a solution. It’s an optimism that has undoubtedly been partially shaped by the nation’s long history of overcoming difficult situations. Vietnam has recently celebrated its 75th year as an independent nation. It spent much of the last 2,000 years fighting for that anniversary. Since 111 BC, Vietnam has been controlled by one foreign power or another. That kind of generational strife will produce some pretty powerful women.
The Characteristics
The historical Vietnamese Woman is said to possess patience, endurance, persistence, strength, and loyalty. But the modern Vietnamese Woman has grown the list to include such attributes as intelligence, bravery, and power and is known to be very clever. Vietnamese associate the tiger with the female figure. They are fierce, independent, and protective, yet graceful in all they do.
If there is an archetype of these traits, it lies within my wife—such a clever calculator. Always quietly assessing every situation and formulating her next move. Like the graceful tiger, she seems to move like water through life as if everything is easy. Though I know it is not. When the day is done and the kids are asleep, she often speaks to me about the challenges she faces throughout the day. I am always humbled, ever keeping her composure. It’s hard to tell that she is ever concerned. She bears the weight of our world as if it were a feather in the wind. I am truly blessed to have such a fantastic wife and partner to navigate this unpredictable world.
Modern concerns
An aspect of Women’s Day that I was not expecting gave the holiday a compelling meaning is bringing women’s rights to the spotlight. Annual campaigns kick off with Women’s Day every year. Focusing on raising public awareness of the plights women face not only in Vietnam but around the world. Sensitive topics like sexual harassment, domestic violence, discrimination, and gender inequality.
I have been taken aback by the pursuit of equality here in Vietnam. Growing up and being educated by systemic prejudice towards communism and socialism. I can tell you from first-hand experience that it isn’t the absolutist dystopian rule it is portrayed to be, at least not in Vietnam. Communism seems to me to be like any other form of government. Its successes and failures are unique to each country and are determined by the people, not the government. It seems to work well here in Vietnam. However, it is also true that it hasn’t worked well in other nations. What I can say is I have never seen such a drive and resoluteness in giving every single person a fighting chance as I have here in Vietnam. There is no man or woman left behind in both declaration and practice.
Our Celebration
Women’s Day wouldn’t be complete for us if we didn’t celebrate in some way. And that tiger would have probably come out to devour me for my insolence. So Diem and I ensured the shop was prepared to operate without us, and we took a half-day to get away. We started with an expedition to have lunch. I say expedition because that is what it began to feel like.
It was Tuesday, but it might as well have been Mother’s Day Sunday back in the US. Thai Market, a delicious Thai restaurant, was an hour for a table. So was the sushi spot, and even most street stalls had lines. Every boss, husband, son, and other man in the city treated someone to lunch. At one restaurant, it appeared the boss had taken every Woman that worked for him out to lunch. As identically dressed professionals marched across the street towards a restaurant with the doors wide open and beckoning them in.
Duck, Duck, Seaweed
Diem pointed down a street towards the market and told me to head in that direction. I turned down Ông Ích Khiêm and went towards the Con market. Diem knew a great duck restaurant near the market. If we were lucky, they might have a table. I pulled up and parked. I walked up to the cart on the street with the freshly roasted ducks hanging and knew I was having duck for lunch, whether to go or at a table.
As duck sits at the top of my favorite things to shove in my pie whole list, they were dangling right there in front of me. Giving me that come hither stare that only a mahogany glazed duck can provide you, I wasn’t leaving without a duck in my stomach or a to-go box. Unfortunately, it was a family affair, as most places are, and the young man at the door informed us that no tables were available. He did, however, have two chairs available at a table with another husband’s wife combo, and he would be happy to sit us with them. We took the offer, not wanting to wait any longer for lunch and not concerned with having dining partners.
A wonderful lunch
The couple we sat with was close to finishing. The Woman was almost done with her soup, and the husband had gone to pay. He returned shortly, and as we ordered our lunch, they got ready to leave. We ordered half a duck, noodles with more duck and greens, rice, seaweed soup, and various accompaniments. A slightly fermented cabbage, sweet pickled chili, a wonderful peanut star anise dipping sauce, and various herbs. It was all incredibly delicious.
Diem and I sat in the small restaurant near the market, and I ate my fill. The duck was superb, sweet, savory, and coated with a spice lacquer that was sublime. I cleaned most of the dishes. Diem always seems to eat about a quarter of what I do, and we ordered another half duck with sides later. Finally, we settled our bill with our waiter and went to the motorbike. Unfortunately, it was beginning to rain. The more accurate statement would be that it hadn’t rained in a few hours, so we dug our ponchos out and made our way.
A little shopping
Diem and I headed over to the market to Bac My An market near the shop. Diem wanted to buy a dress, but she didn’t want to be overcharged, so I dropped her off and headed for gas. It is a bummer sometimes that I can’t always go shopping. I mean, I can walk the markets, but if the non-food vendors even think I’m with Diem when she is negotiating, you might as well triple the price.
I cruised through the market and jumped out on Ngu Hanh Son and to the filling station. It was raining heavily at this point. But even in the rain, the makeshift stalls were beginning to fill the streets everywhere, from tents set up at the roundabouts selling flower baskets and gifts to small coffee table-sized setups under an umbrella selling single roses. It was wild, just like Mother’s Day back home. There were signs all over the city expressing Women’s Day, and the rain deterred no one.
Home with the girls
After Diem’s shopping trip, we headed back to the shop. Most were done with any grooming or beauty services by the afternoon, so we closed early for a holiday and headed home. The girls arrived from their afterschool programs, making the girls favorite in honor of the day. They may not be grown, but the day is theirs as well.
Bánh mì phô mai, as they proclaim, grilled cheese sandwiches. So I made them a lovely little platter of delicious American treats, and we had a quiet evening at home. It has been an interesting and exciting time uncovering the history and times of one of Vietnam’s special days. I hope it has been fun and interesting reading about it.
Who knows what adventure, holiday, or crazy thing may come next? So to all the Women in the world, happy women’s day. To my most important wife, thank you for all that you do. Thank you for your love, compassion, strength, and loyalty. You are one badass Woman and a woman I am so proud to call my wife.
Women’s Day 2021
Another year has gone by since this post was published. Seems like yesterday. We’ve done quite a bit of traveling since. We celebrated our first real Christmas with the girls. I traveled to Nha Trang, Buon Ma Thuot, and had a wonderful time at Tet in the countryside. And, Of course, we enjoyed an incredible Women’s Day together. Some highlights from our year and Women’s Day 2021.
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