The ways of the village are ancient. More ancient than I can even begin to fathom. Agrarian in nature and built on Confucian ideas, the culture has remained relatively unchanged for millennia. Yes, public works like water, electricity and even the internet have penetrated even the most rural of areas. But life is still very much simple. Air conditioning is available, but open homes with fresh air is still preferred. It is not uncommon to have an out house with an age old squat toilet. While still having cable television, a flat screen and high speed internet.
The village is a crucial element to life here in this newly developed nation. It is currently estimated that more than 60% of Vietnamese live in rural areas. Rice cultivation takes a village, and with a lack of real headway on the modernization of it’s cultivation, the need for robust villages is still paramount to the survival of the nation. This has allowed the ancient ways of the village culture to withstand the test of time.
It is almost as if some things like telecommunications have been allowed in while other signs of progress are kept out like grocery stores and shopping centers. There is a real effort in place by even the youngest generations to keep the villages pure and traditional. The younger generations often leave the villages for the cities. For an education or to get higher quality work. But the village seems to always be the end to the means.
Every major holiday like Lunar New Year, the cities empty out and everyone goes to their home village. It’s a secure place they can go, isolated and quiet, to spend time with family and have a much needed break. The food is organic and fresh and the atmosphere is peaceful and comforting. It’s always an incredible experience coming with my wife to her home village high in the mountain valley.
Kinship
Unlike other Asian cultures the most important distinction among Vietnamese is the Clan, or what they simply call Kin or Kinship. It supersedes the smaller family distinction. As well as bilateral kinship a higher social status for women is observed in contrast to a more patriarchal format in Northern and Eastern Asia.
The village community is often composed of only a few Clans who make up the total village. One thing I did notice as unique to Vietnam, at least in my experience, is that cross village exchange in terms of living and moving is very uncommon. In fact even to this day a common term for anyone Vietnamese and not from your village is considered “Alien”.
In ancient times the villages were completely surrounded by well manicured living bamboo walls. The remnants of which can still be seen today. As recent as the 20th century, the villages were completely autonomous. Mostly self-sufficient and rarely dealt with other villages except in the form of limited trade. There is an old Vietnamese proverb that says “Each village strikes it’s own drum and worships it’s own deities”. This speaks to the independence of the village. Even in the times of the great dynasties of Ancient Vietnam and Chinese occupation periods, the villages were allowed autonomy. If the emperors and rulers could sway some form of cooperation from the village then there was no need to be aggressive.
Of course in times of the great wars of the past villagers were called upon to fill the ranks of the royal armies. They did so with an understanding that to fend off the enemy of the state was to protect the village and their Kin. What developed from this ancient world of village rule is a hierarchical system, filled with does and don’ts that persist to this day.
The Hierarchy
Based more on age than anything else, the oldest demands the most respect and the youngest must earn their place. It’s very interesting to watch as family members come and go and position and duty shift around. If a family member shows up who is younger than you then you relinquish the most menial of your tasks and may pick up a chore or two from the one above.
Everyone always knows what their duties are whether it’s mopping or taking out the trash. Chores are performed throughout the day by everyone and it just works. Ba is always working in the wood shop and is the provider. My mother in law Khe is always preparing food. There is always a house full as they have 6 children, my wife being towards the middle. There is always someone visiting, grandchildren, children, nieces and nephews. Currently we have 7 in residence, myself Ba and Khe, Diem, Xu, Su, My brother in law Kevin and nephew Duy. Everyone else helps with the other chores. Except the youngest children as they get to be children.
A Few Missteps
I am not allowed to do much as the guest of the home. Which may seem like it’s awesome, but not always. I want to help Diem with her part, but Khe just will not have it. I was specifically asked to prepare some American fare for the children’s birthday, but when I spilled a little bit of flour on the counter while breading chicken, I was scolded for trying to clean it up. It’s strange to me sometimes, but that just life here. It affords me a great amount of time to write and just enjoy the experience, but sometimes I just want to help.
The structure of age is very strict. I learned at the children’s birthday party that only people older than you could sit higher than you. You may have noticed in some of the photos that with the exception of the dining room table there isn’t much furniture in the house. Here everyone sits on the floor. There is a small round kitchen table with classic plastic stools you see that fill roadside restaurants and street stalls. I grabbed one of the stools and sat in the circle where everyone was sitting on the floor and eating and talking. Ba quickly informed me that if he was on the floor I was on the floor.
Birthday Party
Again I made a fatal error just before the birthday party. As I was placing the food down in the living room floor I snagged a hotdog. It was before everyone began eating and Diem gave me a look followed by a “no, no no”. A little concerned and cautious I asked “What”. Turns out local customs dictate that you cannot eat before the oldest in the home have sat with you and given their permission. No exceptions. The eldest is served first by a younger adult and then down the age line. Don’t worry, no one gets upset with me, oftentimes they laugh more than show any kind of frustration. They know I’m flying blind here and if I am told a custom or tradition I always adhere. I just wish I had a manual sometimes.
So we enjoyed a little sit down around fried chicken, hot dogs, snacks and birthday cakes. Presents are not wrapped and everyone knew what they were getting long before the party. I think the anticipation of looking at the presents on display for a day was more difficult than wondering what was in a wrapped package. I had to stand up and walk around a few times. My bones are just not designed to sit on a hard tile floor. No one ever seemed to mind and we had a wonderful little party. The southern fried chicken was very popular, so much in fact I’m preparing more tomorrow.
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